Ye Ole Blogge wherein can be found the whacky words and dubious deeds of jolly anti-sex, anti-science, anti-condom, anti-intellectual antic extremist & professional candidate for cash... I mean for Delaware Senator, Christine O'Donnell
ChristineHex
Yes, this is a political witch hunt, but this blog has no direct or indirect ties to, financial relationship with or communication with any electoral campaign. Beware the witch's hex!
I want to send out a very special and heartfelt welcome and thank you to Big Ed Schultz and the whole Ed Head Family out there! You are making a difference people.
Ed's new show on MSNBC has brought out vital issues and voices that have never been heard or seen on national TV before, and America is a better place since he came on the air.
Here's a classic example, Ed's latest excellent report on CTTW and her ill ilk.
Here at the electronic political witch hunt that is CTTW, we love you Ed and all Ed Heads everywhere, keep spreading the truth and challenging the rich and powerful! And thanks for visiting CTTW, your one stop shop for the regressive and willfully ignorant ideas of an amusing but dangerous candidates for cash like Christine.
Oh Christine, one of your many magical charms is your bewitching ability to see and hear things that only you can see and hear. We've been told you heard "The audible word of God" during the campaign, now you tell us you can see into an occult world of invisible TV ads. As a professional witch-locator, I can tell you that none of this lends credence to a recent TV ad of your own, in which you claimed "I'm not a witch!" Well, we did do the nose... and the hat...
But only the sorceress herself can see the things she sees:
Why on heaven or earth would anyone headline this clip with her claim that AIDS gets too much funding? True it's outrageous, inaccurate and offensive to say that, but talk about burying the lead! Condoms and talking about public health cause AIDS? "no behavior will make you contract cancer, it's just an act of God" and "The caller makes an excellent point" that people suffering with AIDS are like bank robbers who got shot robbing a bank are pretty darn shocking if you ask me.
And she always has so many great fun facts that nobody but her has ever heard of before. In this clip it's that AIDS funding is not being used for lifesaving drugs, that saying otherwise is causing AIDS to spread? She never quits. Gotta love the way she can say hateful, heartless, murderous things in a way that seems so childlike and innocent.
I can barely keep up. I still have a large backlog of her mania, but this was just too delicious of a morsel to resist.
It seems Christine has found a need to respond to our brave work exposing her witchiness.
Nice try, CTTW, you are only digging yourself in deeper. It's too late to take back your own confession on national television "Yes, I was a witch. I practiced witchcraft... I dabbled in witch craft, one of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar... there was a little bit of blood on there and everything.... I'm not making this stuff up"
Guilty as charged. At least according to her own words. Yet now she tries to reverse herself.
The funniest thing about this ad is the opening line. Watch it again and again, it gets funnier every time.
The scariest thing about this ad is the intended tag line. No, not "I am not a witch" but rather "I'm you" Don't let her cast her Satanic hex upon you, good people! She is not you!
You are yourself, likely a relatively sane and honest person. You are nothing like her.
I love it. Once again, CTTW is convicted by her own testimony. She claims "I'm not what you've heard" .... you mean you're not what we've heard from you? From the words emitted by your very own mouth? Everything bad we've heard about Christine, as evidenced in this very ye ole blogge, has come from her own public statements.
Nobody made you earn your living going on TV to promote yourself and your various devolutionary and seemingly delusional ideas.
Ah, Christine. Just try and deny that you're a witch. That's only going to convince more people of the truth, which as a witch locator, your humble blogger is beating the electronic pavement to make sure we know in advance.
This just in! Ap is reporting that CTTW's BS is more amazingly full of bull than we realized.
Will the hilarious lies ever end? Straight from 2006, she said she had secret info about China's US takeover plans, yet she leaked the info in the debate at the time.
So either she's lying again, or she's spilling state secrets in political debates.
This week Bill Maher released another witch clip which offers us a tasty treat... and that's a one a spicy meat-ball!
Christine here reveals that eating meatballs was more important to her than God, when she says she decided not to stick with the Hare Krishna consciousness movement because she needed to "eat meatballs".
This is part of a classic riff about her many youthful "dabblings". Apparently she tried 'em all before deciding that her favorite flavor was Jesus; Buddhism, Hare Krishna, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (I assume), Witchcraft (still unclear whether she means wicca, or some other paganism or deism or whether it really was Satanism after all, what with the blood sacrifice midnight dating picnic dropcloth.) Perhaps even Tarvuism. More on that below.
Since she became a nationally known professional anti-sex celebrity "Christian" since her college days, one wonders when she had time for all this. Conclusion? She had to have been one of those wild try-anything girls in high school.
"Hey Christine, wanna come over and platonically make out (without lust of course) on my Satanic sacrificial altar? I know I'm a witch but I've been dabbling in Satanism lately so I thought you'd enjoy letting me "date" you on my blood soaked tablecloth here... Yes? You'll try anything once or twice or three times? Cool. You're a really good sport."
I'm going to have to save her fabricated educational resume for another posting.
In the meantime, enjoy a glimpse into the wonderful world of Tarvu. While CTTW was dabbling away in high school, she must certainly have dabbled a tiny dibble into Tarvuism, the world's fastest growing religion. Wouldn't you like to talk to an octopus? I know I would! Hebbo!
And, coming soon, I have found an early published essay by CTTW herself, on the delicious subject of virginity vs. chastity. Followers of this ye ole blogge will know that I'm using all my witch-locating abilities to try to discern whether CTTW is a born again virgin or if she has any idea what she's talking about when she discusses her favorite subject, SEX !!!
(How's that for a teaser?)
Ok, I can't resist, just one more little dose of Tarvu. It's so easy to join!
Welcome to the Monkey Realm! You'll know what I mean momentarily.
Hmmmm..... mice with human brains? Fully functioning human brains? Clearly this is something she would know a lot about after her teen years as a witch or satanist or just a normally experimenting young person who dabbled in the standard teen dating practice of having a "midnight picnic on a satanic altar... (there was a little bit of blood on there and everything!)" I mean, let's be honest, who among us can say they didn't do that once or twice way back...
Ok, almost all of us. Counting Christine, unless she's lying about that too! All of us then.
If anyone out there has been turned into a mouse, please contact this blog immediately. We may not be able to turn you back into a human, but we think we know people who can hook you up with your own reality show.
For the short of time or attentions span, here is the short and sweet version, with little to no context.
Here is the long version of the discussion. My favorite part?
Bill O'Reilly saying "Now they're in the Monkey Realm" 3:14-3:18 .... The Monkey Realm?! Can you get there through witchcraft? You betchya! Sounds like fun, actually. More fun than a barrel o'... and moments later he claims "I have the biggest head in the world!"
Very true, Bill. On so many levels.
For comic relief here is Cyeck Unger's brief riff on this. To his credit he cites an experiment reported in National Geographic and elsewhere that scientists have developed mice who can grow a fully functioning human brain cell, the probable source of what could have been a verbal slip in all fairness, though it could just as easily have been a mental slip... as in "I slipped on a banana peel, hit my braincell and now I can't remember the difference between a brain and a braincell"
She is immediately challenged by the unfortunately named Doctor William Morrone who says "That's an exaggeration"
If she made a verbal slip and meant to say "braincells" rather than "Brains" why didn't she defend herself when challenged as an exaggerator?
Speaking of which, soon we will look at her numerous exaggerations about her educational background. In the meantime enjoy the fluff, which is what you have in your head when you have a single braincell instead of a whole brain.
Today we take a peek into CTTW's post-witch-pre-professional-candidate-for-rent-money job, as head of her own "charity" promoting the many reasons to not have sex.
As well as opposing sex and condoms, CTTW's group made a big priority of preaching against masturbation. At the time of this posting there is no word on her position on the fact that fetuses have been filmed masturbating in the womb.
And while her strange nature-denying rhetoric seems amusing enough by itself, I am more interested in her deeply misogynistic view that the only purpose of a wife's existence is to provide her husband with orgasms, or that it is her job to relieve his sperm buildup whenever he needs it.
Look for the quote "If he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself then why am I in the picture?" at the very end of the montage.
Of course the smart aleck could respond "What do you know about it if you're such a super-virgin?" But for me, this is a virulently patriarchal and misogynist viewpoint rooted in a deep insecurity and a belief that a woman's only worth is in the sexual services she can provide to a man. For someone so obsessed with the idea that most sex is evil, she puts an inordinately high value on the role of sex in a woman's self worth.
Woe be it to any man who marries her, because his prostate is going to be in trouble if she's not constantly ready to service his urges. Perhaps all those decades of supposed "abstinence" has built up an incredible backlog of sexual desire and she's ever so ready to spend the rest of her life servicing her husbands every erection...
This brings up another CTTW contradiction. She says that she does not have sex, yet she says she dated witches (yes, I pluralized witches... no one seems to be noticing that the quote was "one of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar" suggesting she had other dates with these supposed "satanic" "witches")
Did she date witches or satanists or both or whatever it was platonically? That doesn't sound realistic. Is she a virgin of the born again variety only?
We are trying out the new youtube i-frame embedded player, let us know if you like it or prefer we stick with the old one. Theoretically this can allow you to watch on devices that do not play flash video (like iphones for instance)
I'm a bit annoyed that between Bill Maher and MSNBC, I haven't had the opportunity to dig up my own clips as they keep pumping out the headline grabbers day after day.
Presumably this will eventually dry up a bit, but in the meantime, with apologies for you news hounds and Real Time fans who've seen it already, here's today's clip. I would guess that soon these clips will proliferate enough that different blogs can be posting different ones.
So why did monkeys stop evolving into humans? Perhaps they got bored of having to wear clothes and go to work, and decided to go back to the jungle. That's why so many humans today are choosing to go devolve back into monkeys. Don't let it stifle your musings that modern monkeys didn't exist back then either, and that modern monkeys as well as apes etc. have all continued to evolve from their ancient ancestors, as all animals and plants do.
One question for anyone who claims not to believe in evolution: are you going to forsake the latest antibiotics and depend only on penicillin when you get a dangerous infection? If you, like all true scientists, believe in antibiotic resistance, like they believe in global warming by the way, then you're darned tootin' you won't be taking penicillin, you'll be taking what works to save your life, because you know that disease organisms evolve and do so fast enough to require a constant stream of new antibiotics.
Now if you like me prefer naturopathy and to reserve the use of antibiotics for absolute emergencies, then you also believe in evolution because the overuse of antibiotics seems to be the main cause of antibiotic resistance.
And why do we take new antibiotics, or no antibiotics, rather than just using penicillin for everything? Because evolution is a fact.
And that's why monkeys quit evolving into people... oh wait, I just remembered something....
MONKEYS NEVER EVOLVED INTO HUMANS IN THE FIRST PLACE!
We share ancestry with apes, but we did not evolve from them, and monkeys are a different line altogether.
But what do you expect from someone who believes that witchcraft and satanism are the same thing?
Yes it's funny that she says she can stop everyone from having sex, but what's the really interesting thing about this clip?
I'd say it's her virulent opposition to birth control. She doesn't get a chance to finish her thoughts but comparing her sentence fragments here to other interviews it's clear she is trying to say that "the sad reality is" that condoms don't work.
Telling kids to "be abstinent" is in many cases futile, as it goes against millions of years of evolution (gasp, he said the E word!) but it's cute and goofy shenanigans compared to the insidious lie of telling kids that condoms won't protect them from disease or pregnancy. Sure, condoms are not 100% foolproof, neither are parachutes, immunizations, seat belts, lightning rods, back-up hard drives and brushing your teeth. Bad things can still happen to you if you take precautions, but for gosh sakes kids, TAKE THE PRECAUTIONS ANYWAY!
Condoms are 80-99% effective depending whether you are talking about disease prevention or birth control. Yes, that's not 100%, but Christine, that's no reason to forego protection. She thinks if she tells kids (which according to her includes "young women in their thirties") that condoms don't work, they will be too scared to have sex. Maybe if we tell them seatbelts don't work they will be too scared to drive, thus preventing the high rate of teen car accidents?
I think most of us would tell them "please consider not driving, but if you're going to drive please use a seatbelt, it could save your life." And likewise with condoms.
People are saying that the amazing thing about today's brief clip is that CTTW says "yes I will" when asked if she can stop America from having sex, or stop all teenagers from having sex, (there's a lot of crosstalk)
However, here at Witch-finder general headquarters, in our interrogation dungeon here in the Dark Ages, to paraphrase CTTW's presumable mentor Queen Victoria, we are not amazed. After all with her powers of witchcraft she could probably stop all America from having sex, all it takes is another "date on a Satanic altar..." with "a little bit of blood on there" and her evil sorcery will work it's wicked witchy ways, crushing our collective carnal cravings and allowing us all to "remain chaste" like her witchiness herself.
Instead, we believe the amazing thing about this clip is that she says "It's unrealistic to say that kids are going to have sex. They're not animals in heat!"
In what universe is it unrealistic to say that teenagers will have sex even if adults tell them not to?
I don't know, perhaps we should ask her fellow Tea Party shill and teen-abistinence advocate/ unwed teen mother Bristol Palin...
