Why did baby monkeys stop growing up to be humans? SCIENCE!

I'm a bit annoyed that between Bill Maher and MSNBC, I haven't had the opportunity to dig up my own clips as they keep pumping out the headline grabbers day after day.
Presumably this will eventually dry up a bit, but in the meantime, with apologies for you news hounds and Real Time fans who've seen it already, here's today's clip. I would guess that soon these clips will proliferate enough that different blogs can be posting different ones.

So why did monkeys stop evolving into humans? Perhaps they got bored of having to wear clothes and go to work, and decided to go back to the jungle. That's why so many humans today are choosing to go devolve back into monkeys. Don't let it stifle your musings that modern monkeys didn't exist back then either, and that modern monkeys as well as apes etc. have all continued to evolve from their ancient ancestors, as all animals and plants do.



One question for anyone who claims not to believe in evolution: are you going to forsake the latest antibiotics and depend only on penicillin when you get a dangerous infection? If you, like all true scientists, believe in antibiotic resistance, like they believe in global warming by the way, then you're darned tootin' you won't be taking penicillin, you'll be taking what works to save your life, because you know that disease organisms evolve and do so fast enough to require a constant stream of new antibiotics.

Now if you like me prefer naturopathy and to reserve the use of antibiotics for absolute emergencies, then you also believe in evolution because the overuse of antibiotics seems to be the main cause of antibiotic resistance.

And why do we take new antibiotics, or no antibiotics, rather than just using penicillin for everything? Because evolution is a fact.

And that's why monkeys quit evolving into people... oh wait, I just remembered something....

MONKEYS NEVER EVOLVED INTO HUMANS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

We share ancestry with apes, but we did not evolve from them, and monkeys are a different line altogether.

But what do you expect from someone who believes that witchcraft and satanism are the same thing?